Today's Show: More GOP Tomfoolery
by Randi Rhodes
posted Nov 14 2011 4:25PM
Well, the never-ending GOP debate continued this weekend. This debate was carried on CBS. Well, it was carried for a while… and then they dropped it. After the first hour, CBS switched to an episode of the show NCIS. It wasn’t even a new episode of NCIS. It was a rerun. But I’m sure it seemed a lot fresher than the recycled crap the GOP candidates had been spewing. There weren’t a lot of references to South Carolina’s Civil War past, which is probably for the best. Michele Bachmann would have placed the attack on Fort Sumter in the wrong state, and Rick Perry would have put the entire Civil War in the wrong century.
Surprise! Most of the GOP candidates have no problem using torture. That should be obvious—look at the torture these people have subjected viewers to with these debates. The audience went wild when Michele Bachmann said she would use waterboarding. You know how these candidates pander to the bloodlust of the audience. I was afraid that Michele was going to actually start waterboarding somebody then and there. I’m sure Michele would have scored some big points with the audience by waterboarding Jon Hunstman until he agreed that waterboarding was good.
Herman Cain says that God told him to run for president. Herman, has it occurred to you that God wanted to use that opportunity to expose you as a serial sexual abuser? Herman said it took a while for God to convince him. Of course—not only does Herman Cain think that God talks to him, but when they disagree, Herman Cain thinks that Herman Cain is correct. Uh, Herman, the message you claim you got from God probably came from you. But then, in your mind, there’s no real distinction between those two entities.
Then Herman said “When I finally realized that it was God saying that this is what I needed to do, I was like Moses. ‘You’ve got the wrong man, Lord.” Herman, you are not like Moses. If Moses was as confused about everything as Herman Cain, then the Israelites would have spent a lot longer than 40 years in the wilderness. Besides, if Herman Cain was around in the time of Moses, he would still be advocating for the interests of the top 1 percent. And in that era, that would mean supporting the Pharaoh.