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Super Tuesday

by Randi Rhodes posted Mar 6 2012 5:30PM
It’s Super Tuesday, the day that was designed to pick a winner in the primary race. Unfortunately, there aren’t any winners in this particular race. It’s all going to come down to which candidate the voters got to know the best—that guy is definitely going to lose. Mitt Romney told an Ohio crowd “If you do your job tomorrow, we’re going to win this thing.” Do your job? Uh oh, Ohio voters! Mitt Romney thinks of you as employees! That means that after today, you’re going to be laid off.

The only state where Mitt Romney seems to have an easy path to victory is in Massachusetts—the state he’s been trying desperately to distance himself from. Don’t worry. If Mitt wins by a landslide in Massachusetts, by tomorrow he’ll be saying that it never happened. Ron Paul is the only candidate who has gone up to campaign in Alaska. No problem for Ron—Ron Paul is used to being on the furthest fringes. Newt Gingrich is leading in Georgia, a state that is as deep down in the South as Newt Gingrich is in the national polls. And the only two candidates who qualified for the ballot in Virginia are Mitt Romney and Ron Paul. Virginia’s only choice is between the fake and the flake.

Rick Santorum actually failed to qualify for the ballot in about a quarter of Ohio’s congressional districts because he didn’t submit the required slate of delegates. Rick isn’t too good at the nuts and bolts of campaigning. You would think that Rick Santorum would at least have the “nuts” part down

And Peter Gabriel has demanded that Rush Limbaugh stop using his music. It was a weird choice for Rush anyway. We know you disseminate the talking points, Rush. Don’t you get the listening points? In terms of being the right fit for a rightwing show, Peter Gabriel is down there with Tracy Chapman, dude! You’re supposed to go with Ted Nugent or Toby Keith. Oh, and Kid Rock is trying to get on the list, too.

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03/06/2012 5:31PM
Super Tuesday
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