Republicans plan to try to add several “killer amendments” to the gun control bill being debated in the Senate. They’re essentially intentionally awful ideas attached to the bill
—kind of like sending someone out for a swim with a cast iron bathing suit. In the Republican scheme of things—and I do mean “scheme”—a bad idea isn’t just a bad idea. If it’s properly designed, it can also be used to destroy a good idea. You really have to admire the multi-faceted nature of the thing.
Students from other countries looking to study abroad are increasingly scared off from the United States because of our gun culture
... or as conservatives would say “Mission Accomplished!” From the conservative perspective, they get their guns AND they’re scaring off those damned furriners. Secretary of State John Kerry said that potential students from Japan are “actually scared. They think they’re not safe in the United States.” We as Americans need to tell these students “Look, you just have to survive here for as long as it will take you to get a degree in civil engineering. I have to somehow live my entire life here without getting shot.”
Alan Keyes says that gay marriage will lead to Communism and mass murder
. That’s a total exaggeration. It will mean more weddings, so yes it will be harder to book a photographer. But mass murder? No. Keyes says that the aim of gay marriage is really “to destroy the family and to establish the notion that once you have seized power there is no limit whatsoever to what you can do.” Too bad—that’s a lot to put on a wedding invitation.
Alan says gay marriage will lead to “the expropriation of all property” and “the murder of the masses.” Wow. Are we still expected to buy a wedding gift? Forget it! If all my property is going to be expropriated, I’m sure as hell not going to go out and buy a fancy tea service for Adam and Steve. So, gay marriage is just a preliminary to the “murder of the masses.” First we have the ceremony. Then comes the reception—everybody gets drunk and we dance to Kool & the Gang. Then the mass executions begin.
Rush Limbaugh is furious at black people again. Or maybe I should just say that Rush Limbaugh is still furious at black people. What is up with Rush’s obsessive anger at black people? Rush! You can be racist without being OCD about it! There are people with Aryan Nations tattoos on their faces that are more chill than Rush Limbaugh about race relations. Rush Limbaugh is annoyed that the students at Howard University
last week didn’t greet Rand Paul as a liberator. I have news for you, Rush—Rand Paul is such a slimeball that even most white people are on to him. According to Rush, black people need to prove that they’re worthy of receiving the revealed truth of Republicanism. How can they do that? Maybe they can try by saying things as crazy as what Alan Keyes says.
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